T-Day

Tomorrow is our boy's first birthday, even though he'll never get to turn one we will never forget him or the impact he has had on our lives.

The last day we spent with Thomas, was sunny but windy and as we were leaving the hospital and heading back to the car a gust of wind picked up (this has been a recurrent thing) and as we reached the car we were surrounded by a flight of blossom leave as they were blown from the trees we were parked next to. We thought them cherry blossom but when we bought Thomas' tree last weekend we discovered it was actually a flowering plum.

A tree for Thomas


Dragonflies are my way of representing Thomas. I often draw one on my hand, I wear one on a necklace, I have one tattooed with his initials on my ankle and Kris has been trying to find a dragonfly candle for months. I ended up finding a mould on ebay and bought some wax so I could make one, as a surprise. The package was a surprise but as Kris was here when it arrived the making of the candle became a team effort, and much more special because of it.

A candle for Thomas

Friends forever but not in life

One of the best and worst parts of this horrible journey is the people you meet. The best because they understand without question what you are going through, they know how you feel because they feel it to. Our experiences may differ but the end result is the same, we have lost our children, our hopes and our dreams.

The worst part of it is that every time you meet someone new you know it's because they have lost their child and it's heartbreaking how many friends we now have from this journey.

I wish we could have met S and D at a new mothers meeting or playgroup. I know this never would have happened because location and common interests keep us apart, except for now. Now we have the most common of interests, how do we ever get over the loss of our precious boys? Short answer is never, the long answer is you will never recover but surround yourself with understanding and kind people and you will have help to get over the hardest parts.

These guys were made for two special little boys, never together in life, friends forever in death.




Mums Like Me is an charity begun by a baby loss mother to honour the memory of her twin boys. She create memory boxes for bereaved parents to take home when they leave hospital. In the absence of a child it is small comfort but it beats empty arms.

These guys are hopefully going to find empty arms to fill and offer a small comfort in the face of huge loss.

From Thomas

Bearing with it

Last Friday was a tough day. I was already feeling a bit sad as I walked into work. We often get different companies leaving samples in our mail room and on this particular morning there was some stuff from a dentist supply company. The reminder card to send to patients with "Has it been that long already?" next to a smiling giraffe. Of all the things to see, of all the messages to read.

One of my lovely colleagues saw I was a bit upset and made me go have a coffee with him. It was a beautiful winter morning. Bright blue sky and just enough sun to feel warm and lovely. It was also a really lovely chance to get to know him outside of timetables and class lists.

Sometimes life is too much to bear on our own...




This one I made just for me.